Welcoming Jack Steele Hilburn

Tuesday September 13th pre-hospital check in feelings: Terrified.
You hear so many horror stories and everyone has such a different experience, I just didn't even know what to think. There were just so many unknowns I didn't quite know how to wrap my brain around it. I had so many questions and concerns and was slightly freaking out.
Fast forward just two hours later at 2:00PM, i'm all hooked up, have my cup of ice chips, my beef broth and jello, and contractions 3 minutes apart. Now it didn't matter if I was scared or not because this baby was coming! I was dilated to a 3 and 80% effaced when my doctor came in and broke my water. My nurse told me one of her other patients that day said it was like taking a Jacuzzi....um i'm not sure what hot tub that girl had been in because I just felt like I peed myself.
I felt all of my contractions in my back so I was having a hard time figuring out what way to sit/stand in order to breath through them. I was internally battling for a while trying to decide when I should get my epidural. My doctor said I could get it when ever I wanted it. My hard core self who wanted to be strong was saying it had only been an hour and a half since we had been in the hospital so I  should hold out a little longer.
I was crying, trying to go to the bathroom, starving, and frankly a hot mess. I caved and asked Chad to go tell the nurse I was at my limit. In walked the anesthesiologist and angles were singing ha! It hurt less then my IV so I now know...don't wait just get it. They checked me after I was numb and I was at a 5! This was moving a lot faster then we anticipated.
It was a whole new ball game when I couldn't feel the lower half of my body. It was so fun just to be with Chad and anticipating the arrival of our little man. The party got even better when my best friend Johnna arrived. Johnna, Chad and I have been friends since High School so it was just like the old days being all together. We got so carried away talking to each other, and the nurses (they were so GREAT) it was 8PM before we knew it. I was feeling some pressure so I just asked them to check me just out of my own curiosity, and I was at a 10!
I was so scared about the whole pushing process, but I was so numb I knew it wasn't going to be half as bad as I had anticipated. My legs were literally like jello. I had to have Chad pick up one leg and my nurse pick up another and move them into pushing position. We did a few practice pushes which turned into actually pushing and before I knew it in walked my doctor. He is literally one of my favorite people. I wish I could just have him as a personal doctor for all of our other children where ever they are born, i'm sure he would love being stuck with me forever!
It was the most surreal experiences sitting there laughing and having the best time as I pushed our child into the world. It was all too good to be true, and then it got even better when everyone was yelling "he's coming!!" one more push and he was out! They placed the sweetest little person on my chest, he was so cute and tiny and he was OURS! Chad cut the cord, and they took him over to get all washed off while I got stitched up. It felt like a dream sitting there watching Chad hold him, Johnna taking pictures, and realizing that our whole world had just changed.
Chad walked over and put him in my arms and I lost it. With Chad sitting next to me and this sweet baby in my arms my whole world was complete.
It truly was the most amazing experience and a day we will cherish forever.
We love you forever our little 7 pound 4 ounce 21 inch long
Jack Steele Hilburn 

BUMPDATE:38.5 weeks

How Far Along? 
38.5 weeks, any day now little guy

 Weight Gain?
I haven't looked at the scale my last two appointments because I don't want to be fixed on a number. By the looks of myself I've got to be in the high 20's!

Maternity Clothes? 
I wear the same four maternity shirts from Old Navy or two of my regular flowy shirts with stretchy skirts or leggings every day. Talk about getting sick of a wardrobe. 

 Sleep?
I sleep, but wake up at least three times a night to pee or because he is in my ribs. Note to self: next time buy a body pillow! 

Best moment this week? 
We got to spend the weekend with our friends Sam and Gabby and their little girl Charlie. Talk about a good weekend! 

Weird pregnancy moment?
This kid's head is on a nerve so I get the sharpest pain on the inside of my thighs. It only lasts a second but I always grab my legs because it hurts so bad, and every time it looks like i'm holding myself because I have to pee. So that's always a sight to see when we are in public! 

 Movement?
ALL.THE.TIME

Gender: BOY

Food Cravings?
Ice cream and Reeses. I want them every day. Probably why I have stopped looking at the scale. 

Morning Sickness?
Gonzo. 

Symptoms?
Is being terrified to push a child out a symptom, because if it is that's my one and only! 

Looking forward to?
Having this little guy in our arms. If I think about labor and birth too much I freak out and cry, so I try not to and just think about the moment we get to hold him! 

Loving what matters

 I really have loved being pregnant; it has been one of my favorite experiences. It is so unreal to feel this little guy go from a flutter in my stomach, to an actual person and feeling his whole body move inside of me. I have never been more thankful, or in awe of the human body and the perfect way it was created. 

I also didn't realize how selfish I was before this little guy decided to grow. Time was mine, Chad was mine, and my body was mine. But those things aren't the same any more, and they will continue to change even more once he is actually here. I find myself appreciating my time more, appreciating Chad more, and appreciating the gift my body is.

However, I don't appreciate the way my body looks. I find myself spending more time being critical of my appearance and wanting to cover up all of the curves i'm not used to. Selfishly I just want my pre-pregnant body back. I want time to just fast forward and snap back to my pre-pregnant self. I know that's not realistic, but hey I can wish.

 I have to learn to love myself regardless of my appearance. Numbers on a scale don't matter, and my clothes don't matter. My character matters, the words I speak matter, my marriage matters, my friends matter, my family matters, and what Chad and I teach this little guy matters! 

I still have a way to go, but i'm trying. I'm trying to see what matters in myself and in other people. It doesn't come easy, it doesn't come over night, and it takes a conscious effort. 

With time I know it will get easier, and it can become a part of me, and more importantly a part of our family. 

And I hope as we do this we can be... 

Positively Contagious 

BUMPDATE: 30 weeks

How Far Along? 
30 weeks, only 10 left to go!

 Weight Gain?
11 lbs, moving on up! 

Maternity Clothes? 
If I wear a skirt and shirt then I wear a maternity top, but most of the time I just wear my stretchy dresses I have from before this bump. 

 Sleep?
I have been sleeping like a rock these days. Probably because we have been going, going, going this last week so my body is catching up!

Best moment this week? 
Spending time with Chad, family, and friends in Canada and Yellowstone

Weird pregnancy moment?
Feeling like I have to pee 24-7. Home boy's head is right on my bladder so sometimes I feel like i'm going to pee my pants even though I don't actually have to pee. It's the weirdest feeling, ha!

 Movement?
ALL.THE.TIME

Gender: BOY

Food Cravings?
I haven't really had any specific cravings lately. I just feel like I want fruit and salad all the time... and sandwiches. Healthy stuff just sounds better these days in comparison to the time before now where I just wanted everything bad for you. 

Morning Sickness?
It actually came back randomly this week in the afternoon it was the weirdest thing. It just comes and goes in waves...go figure. 

Symptoms?
I have been feeling great this last month! I'm not uncomfortable yet which is nice. Home boy's feet are right under my ribs though so sometimes he gets a good kick!

Looking forward to?
This baby finally being here! I have had so many dreams lately that i'm in the hospital/in labor and as terrified as I am of that day i'm SO excited to meet this little guy!

Adventuring

 It has been a week of go, go, go for us! Chad hasn't had a day off since we got back in April; it has been school and work non stop. So this week we were able to finally have some time together and it was a blast. 

Our first stop this week was Canada for the 4th of July and Canada day. It was so fun to spend time with family and show Chad around my family's stomping grounds. Waterton, Canada will always have a special place in my heart. 

When we got back we had a two day work week and went straight into another adventure with our favorite friends, the Asay's. We headed up to Island Park to stay at Lauren's family cabin and took a little trip to Yellowstone. This place is unreal; we even saw a black bear run across the street. Of course Chad and Preston got out of the car to see if they could get a better look, ending up back in the car with no luck and elevated heart rates. It is always a good time when we are with these three. 

 This week I have learned how important it is to appreciate time, and how the little moments make the best memories. I have totally taken time for granted and have realized how important it truly is. Baby Hilburn only has 10 weeks left before he makes his appearance and I really want to soak up all  the time we have left with just the two of us. 

I hope we can all slow down just a little bit and really appreciate the time we have to spend with those we love most.  

 By doing so we can all find a way to be...

Positively Contagious 

BUMPDATE: 6 months

(Check out Very Jane for THE BEST dresses: Linked in picture)

How Far Along? 
25 weeks, a whole 6 months down!

 Weight Gain?
I actually have no idea and at this point and I don't exactly care. I figure i'm growing a human so bring it on...or at least some days I feel like that ha! 

Maternity Clothes? 
I can't button my pants, so i'm sure I should be wearing them but i'm just sticking to dresses and skirts these days. 

 Sleep?
It really depends on the night. Some nights I sleep like a baby and other nights I wake up a million times. The most common theme is that I feel like I can never get enough sleep no matter what.

Best moment this week? 
I popped! My stomach it is now a round little belly of baby. 

Weird pregnancy moment?
Friday night last week I had the worst pain on my right hand side of my stomach and in my back. I was SO nervous after 45 minutes of pain, and then I started peeing blood...to the hospital we went! Friday night date night with burgers and fries in the ER passing kidney stones...that was one to remember! 

 Movement?
YES. He's a mover and a shaker! 

Gender: BOY

Food Cravings?
Salt and vinegar chips on the daily. Also a snack  my mom used to make me when I was younger was Ritz crackers, cream cheese and salami. I know, sounds nasty but I literally eat them every day. Also french fries...maybe it's the salt in all of these things! 

Morning Sickness?
Gonzo, and i'm so thankful! 

Symptoms?
Ligament pain is still there and is off and on. When it hurts, it hurts, but when it doesn't I don't have much to complain about! 

Looking forward to?
Next thursday when Chad has the day off and we can go on a date. I love Thursdays! 

Just DO IT

A lot of the time we don't know where life is going to take us. It can be confusing, frustrating, overwhelming, stressful, unpredictable, and sometimes simply put it's just hard. We have people to please, expectations to be met, jobs to do, and work to be done.

What would happen if we just hit pause, and took a moment to...dream. What would happen if we didn't worry about what other people thought of us, what mistakes we could possibly make, and what terrible things could potentially happen in the future?
Do you think our perspective would change? Do you think we would enjoy life more fully?
I never knew a small five letter word could mean so much. It gives you hope, gives you perspective, and helps you see that life is what you make it.
Surround yourself with true friends, be honest with yourself and with those around you, lean on and love your family, and no matter what, don't forget to chase your dreams.
What ever they may be, as you do this, you can become...

Positively Contagious