A new Beginning

Christmas and New Years have come and gone and I feel like I didn't even blink. This Holiday season was filled with family, food, friends, skiing, more food, movies, games, pictures, shopping, and a wonderful trip to the Sacramento LDS temple. It was so fun to be home and enjoy doing things we love with the people we love most. 

As I look back on this year I can't believe how much we have done and how much we have grown. I can only speak for myself when I say, I have done A LOT of growing.

 Setting goals has always been kind of daunting because I feel like I make them....and that's about as far as I get. This year as part of my goals, I plan to look at them often so I can be constantly reminded of the ways I am trying to grow and improve. 

1. Type and print out my goals and put them in a place where I can see them...so I actually accomplish them. 

2. Be more patient with the people I love: think before reacting

3. Find a hobby/further develop the things I enjoy so they become a hobby: sewing, photography, blogging 

4. Run a half marathon in under two hours. I ran one on Thanksgiving and got 2:05, I was so close but yet so far! 

5. Read my scriptures every day. I am the worst scripture reader so it's only up from where I am at. 

6. For every one negative thing I say I have to say two positive things: regarding people, situations etc. 

7. Pass the Praxis test: If I can pass it will be a whole new world for the Hilburn family! 

8. Find joy in the little things: I get so stuck in things I "have to do" instead of remembering I get to choose what I do every day and how I respond to situations

9. Be more service oriented: Look for ways every day to go outside myself and serve others. Even something little like holding the door open can change someones day 

10.  Be the best version of myself: I find that I compare myself often to people around me (especially on social media)  I want to be the best version of myself instead of the best version of "so and so" 

I am so excited for this new year. A new start brings new perspective, desires, faith, experiences, growth, love, and dreams. I can't wait to see what 2016 has in store for us. 

And as always, I hope this year we can always find ways to be...

Positively Contagious 

Merry & Bright

It's almost Christmas which means...picture time! One day we will send out Christmas cards, but I feel like people got a card with our faces just over a year ago so we'll give them a little break. Chad is such a trooper putting up with me and my picture obsession. Sadly...thinking of a pose is the toughest part of taking pictures. So note to future self, look some up before you go! 

I hope this year we can all take a moment and remember the true meaning of Christmas. This is the time we celebrate the Savior, His birth, the mortal life He lived, and the knowledge that He lives. This season is the perfect time to love more, give more, be more thankful, and truly act as a disciple of Christ. With all of the chaos in the world around us, I hope we can remember He lives, He loves us, and is watching over all of us. (want to know more?)

With this spirit of Christmas, I hope we can all find a way this Holiday season to be...

Positively Contagious 

Better Days to Come

Joy is such a simple word yet I have found it hard to comprehend lately. For one, if you turn on the news...joy flies straight out the window. If you were to look outside my window at the grey cold sky...not so joyful. If I compare my weakness to others strengths...no joy.

 If I compare my trials to others successes...ZERO joy. 

For the last year I have been working towards something and it has been a lot harder than I anticipated. It has been emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausting. Day after day it hangs over my head, and I feel like I will never see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

Until yesterday, after some serious tears, and long conversations, I found some light.

I am finally in a place where I can move forward. I let go of my stubbornness (at least for now) and can start moving in a positive direction. I have been so focused on changing my situation instead of accepting it, learning from it, and making the best of it. 

As Chad would say, I've been storing a lot of lemons and it's about time I start making some lemonade. It has been a humbling experience, and I have learned a lot. It may have been self inflicted sorrow, but I am so thankful for the joy that comes after a challenging situation. 

With this new perspective I hope I can find ways to be...

Positively Contagious 

Fake Parents

We got to play parents this week and put simply, it was heaven. It was a much needed break from our reality...and Rexburg. It's so crazy to me how a three hour drive can allow to you to experience a whole new world. There are mountains, good places to eat, traffic on an actual freeway, new homes being built that are fun to look at, and shopping (my favorite)

 I think we got the better end of the deal. Since they aren't our kids we had permission to spoil them which included: In and Out, Chik- fil-A milkshakes, Maverik runs for candy, donughts, movies, you name it, we probably did it.

Chad made fun of me because he said I would blog about the week and say how I couldn't wait for him to be a dad...well Chad... here it is. It was so cute to see these kids just stick to him like glue, I literally got demoted (trying not to be bitter). These little kids taught us so much this week and gave us a lot to look forward to. 

This week reminded me why this stage in our life is so important. It is the effort we put into our lives now that creates the path for our future. Sometimes it feels like this phase of our lives is never going to end, but this week helped me to see that it will. There are going to be phases in life that seem longer than others. It is the little moments in those phases that help us create our happiness. We have so much to look forward to and so much to be thankful for. 

I hope during our journey to the future we can find some ways to be...

Positively Contagious 

FALLing upward

I don't know what the deal is, but I have been having meltdowns way too often this month. Call me a toddler because that's who has meltdowns, but i'm here to tell you a twenty-four year old can have them too. Maybe breakdown is a better word, let's go with breakdown. 

I don't know how to express my thoughts 99% of the time so blogging and writing tend to be my best outlet. The other night after some serious tears I decided to pull out my journal and write. I didn't even have a purpose, but after some time my thoughts came full circle and I found the root of my problem: Negativity. 

I re-read what I wrote and I was shocked. Every feeling I had from inadequacy to fear, with some in between, had a negative connotation.  

How in the world am I supposed to be happy when I am living in a brain of negative mush?! 

Well I can't so I came up with a solution: Positivity 

I live in a beautiful area, I have a loving husband (who willingly takes pictures with me), I have a family who loves me, Chad and I are both healthy, I get to run every day, we have a full fridge, a warm apartment to come home to, friends, & Maverik is down the street which means a Diet Coke pick me up is less then 2 minutes away, I have everything to be happy about. 

 I have realized these moments of sadness and inadequacy have brought me back to what truly matters. I have been forced to my knees to ask for help, and in doing so I have seen the comfort and love (read this talk) that comes from looking upward in hope instead of downward in defeat. 

This life is a blessing and I intend to start living it that way. 

 And as I do I hope in someway I can be...

Positively Contagious 

One year Older

I can not believe that I have been alive for TWENTY-FOUR years, HOW is that possible?! Luckily Chad had surprises up his sleeve that helped me feel not so old. He literally spoiled me all day. 

Feeling extra loved (flowers, candy, a book, a nice card, and the cutest necklace) + Feeling appreciated (not having to cook, a clean house, being picked up from work with a Diet Coke, and friends that love me enough to eat cake with me)

= Perfect Birthday.

 I want the big two-four to be different then any other year. I want to use all of the wisdom I have gained over my long life (ha!) and make this a year to remember. 

1. Stop taking things so seriously. A lot of what happens in life is not life or death; I would have a lot more fun if I stopped treating it like it was. 

2. Enjoy the little things. Be happy in the moment I am living instead of dreaming of the future. 

3. Make goals. New Years resolutions are great, but if I can't remember them I should probably make weekly goals....

4. Become a better cook. I rely on the crock pot a little too much...oops. Maybe a new recipe a week, and shoot i'll even post it on here...if it's good. 

5. Make mistakes. Perfection is not possible, so i'm going to stop holding myself to an unrealistic expectation. 

6. Don't be easily offended. Easier said then done I know, but maybe if I think instead of react things might go over a little better.

7. Love more. Everyone is fighting a hard battle, treat them that way. 

8. Drink more Diet coke and eat as much candy as I want...without feeling guilty. Life is meant to be enjoyed...enough said. 

9. Run three half marathons. If number eight is going to happen then this should happen too. Starting with my first one Thanksgiving Day! 

10. Find the positive in every situation. Chad got me a sign for my birthday that says "Nobody ever injured their eye sight by looking at the bright side." it's now hanging above our toilet so I have a daily reminder. 

This is the year. The year dreams become reality, the year I don't apologize for taking pictures, the year I don't miss an opportunity to laugh instead of cry, the year I embrace every opportunity

 and the year I try my hardest to be...

Positively Contagious 

A Road less Traveled

This is about to get personal...

Preface: I am currently training for a half marathon so I have a lot of time to think on my runs. Saturday is my long day, and today was a 6 mile day. I had my route all planned out, and was actually looking forward to today's run. Half way through my run I saw this trail. I had heard about it, and knew that if I took the trail back I would probably be close to my 6 mile mark. Yet, I stuck to my planned out trail so I knew exactly how far I was going to run. As I continued to run home I almost broke into tears.Why you might be wondering... or maybe not, I was running(which could cause tears for some and myself a year ago) but it wasn't the running, it was that dang trail!

 Here's the personal part: I have really been struggling lately with my roll... let me explain. I know I am a daughter of God, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, etc. but inside the only role I long to fill is the role of a Mother. I always thought after I graduated I would be a mom. I wouldn't be going to school anymore, so naturally, if I was married, we would have kids. Well, I did get married, but kids haven't exactly been next on that check list. Just like life, you have to do the hard stuff first (get a better job, chad graduating) before you get the reward (mini Hilburns)

I struggle with it a lot, I ask why, I get frustrated, I cry, feel bad for myself, and then cry some more. (Poor Chad, he didn't quite know what he was getting into in this department.) Back to my route this morning, when I saw that trail I thought about my current situation. I had a route, but there was another perfectly good route right next to me. I could have taken it, it would have led me to the exact same spot, but it was unfamiliar. 

I panicked, and chose to stay on the path I knew. The path I wanted to be on. The path that I had planned.  

 So, yes I want to be a Mother more then words can explain, but what if that isn't the path right now? What if the path I am being led down teaches me to pray more, have more faith, and work harder which leads to a greater perspective, more compassion, and a greater understanding of sacrifice.

 That is the path that will teach me to be a better wife, and ultimately a better mother. It may not be the path that I want to take, but I know that it is the path I need to be on right now. Some days I enjoy it more then others, but I know I have much more to learn. And no matter what path I take I know I don't have to do it alone.

I have a loving husband, a best friend, a constant support system, and permanent shoulder to cry on.

I hope no matter where we end up, or how many children we add a long the way we can always find a way to be...

Positively Contagious

The BEST Caramel Apples you will ever have: 

3-4 large Granny Smith Apples 

1 pkg of white chocolate chips 

1 bag Kraft caramel bites 

1/4 cup brown sugar 

1/4 cup white sugar 

1/2 tsp cinnamon 

In separate bowls: melt chocolate, and caramel as directed on package. 

Mix brown sugar, sugar, and cinnamon in a bowl.

Dip apples in caramel and place on a cookie sheet/wax paper. Let the caramel apples set until cool. Once they are set, dip the now, caramel covered apples in white chocolate. (I used a knife to smooth the chocolate out so they didn't look hideous). Immediately dip them in the sugar mixture. Rotate until completely covered. 

Mine looked ugly so I only did it on one, but if you have some creative-ness left, drizzle caramel/white chocolate in pretty designs on top of the dipped apples. 

Enjoy! (try not to go into a food coma)