The road to Baby Hilburn

I've always dreamed about what I would be when I grew up. I thought about being a professional tennis player, a nurse, a marriage and family therapist, but none of those ideas ever seemed to stick around. But one did, in some way or another my thoughts always seemed to end up in the same place...I want to be a mom. 

Meeting Chad in high school helped solidify that dream. We both grew up with strong family values. No matter what went on in the world around us, we knew that we could rely on our families, and our faith. I eventually came to the conclusion: No matter the timing or how complicated our story would be, I wanted Chad to be my husband, and to have a family with him. Through years of friendship, a love grew, we got married, and my dreams combined with his when we found out we were pregnant! 

It was not an easy road. There were many tears, moments of frustration, moments of fear, months of failed pregnancy tests, and times I literally wanted to give up. 

One day in December, for old time sake, I decided to take a test. I'm not sure why I decided to take it.  To be honest, we hadn't technically been trying the previous month; I just felt like I needed to give my body an emotional break. Into the bathroom I went anticipating I would yet again be in tears leaving the bathroom with a negative test. I didn't look at it until I felt like I could emotionally handle the heart break. To my surprise it was positive! I thought the test was wrong, there was no way this could happen (our "Party of Three" post has more details).  The few days following that positive test, we didn't talk about it much. I think we were both in shock and letting it all sink in. 

Even though the test was positive, it didn't really sink in until....morning sickness. However, I had night time sickness. I didn't know that was a thing until 5:00pm hit and I was throwing up until I went to bed. So future reference for those planning to get pregnant you have the lovely chance of getting morning or night time sickness. Also, a lot of people say it goes away after your first trimester...I'm 17.5 weeks and I still wake up every once in a while in the middle of the night and throw up. I would just prepare for it being around a while, that way you can be pleasantly surprised when it does finally goes away.  As weird as it sounds, it has actually been really nice to be sick. It was a reminder that this little babe was growing, that the female body is created perfectly, and life truly is a miracle.

These last few weeks I have noticed the most changes with my body. My skin suddenly loves to create zits, I am so tired I can't sleep enough, I run out of energy doing the most simple things, my patience has just disappeared, and I swear my tear ducts are broken which is not a normal thing. I have also been feeling the baby move. It is very subtle, but I always feel him when i'm sitting down. It is the smallest little flutter, but so comforting to know he is having a party in there. I can't until he is big enough when Chad can actually feel him move.

Until now I always had a dream of being a mom. Now that i'm pregnant, it is a reality. In six short months Chad and I will be parents to a little baby boy. It has been, and continues to be such a humbling experience. As he grows, I can't help but think what life will be like when he is finally here. I wonder what kind of a mom I will be. I wonder if I will be what he needs. I wonder if I can teach him in a loving way just right for his little personality. I wonder if I will be a "good mom". I can sit here and question my abilities all day long. Sometimes it scares me, but ultimately I know Chad will be the perfect dad for him, and I will be the perfect mom for him. We are not perfect people by any means, but we have been blessed with this sweet little boy for a reason. All three of us will learn, grow, and become the best family we know how to be. 

It has been such a journey to get to where we are now, but we would not change a thing. 

I hope because of this journey and sharing our story we have found some way to be...

Positively Contagious 

BUMPDATE: 17 weeks

How Far Along? 
17 weeks 

 Weight Gain?
2 big ones. (Guilty...I totally pushed it out in this picture to make it look pregnant instead of fat)

Maternity Clothes? No, but my tight clothes days are over.

 Sleep?
YES, thank goodness. I'm taking advantage of this since I know the day will come when I don't get any.

Best moment this week? 
Moving back to Idaho! It's so nice to be back in our little apartment, and getting back to our little family routine.

Weird pregnancy moment?
Not really weird, but I forgot to eat a couple times this week and then it hits me, and I need food STAT.

 Movement?
YES. It's the weirdest thing. It literally feels like a little twitch every once in a while. Its mostly on my right side, and when I sit down. Poor guy is trying to get comfortable.

Gender: BOY

Food Cravings?
Mucho Mango Arizona juice is my go to, and the same old turkey sandwich. 

Morning Sickness?
As long as I remember to eat I can keep it under control. It is still worse at night and I have to fall asleep before it hits or else I throw up....not my favorite. 

Symptoms?
My patience seems to be going some where....and I would really like it to come back. 

Looking forward to?
My next doctors appointment in two short weeks, I just can't wait to see how big he is getting! 

A Book for Thought

 These days little baby Hilburn consumes most of my thoughts. I wonder who he will look like, what his little personality will be like, what he will like to do as he grows out of the eat,poop,sleep,cry phase. All day I think about this little person growing inside me. Most of my thoughts stem from memories from my own childhood. Life has gone by so fast, yet I still have distinct memories of my childhood like they were yesterday.

 I can remember going to the library every single week, without fail, and checking out piles of books. I would get read to before naps, after naps, during the day, and as I fell asleep at night. I loved books, I can remember being so calm, and feeling so loved as I was wrapped up in someones arms being read to. I know now that what I felt was a sense of security and a sense of peace in my child-like world.

I want little baby Hilburn to grow up with a love for books just like I did, to get lost in a story, and to dream his own story. I came across this company Bookroo, and fell in love. They send you the cutest little box of books each month. You pick your child's age, select the type of books you prefer, how often you want to receive books in the mail, and... done! Two books a month at an affordable price.

The world we live in has become so consumed in technology, that we may sometimes forget the importance of books. They can be such a powerful tool to teach these little ones. I can not wait to snuggle little baby Hilburn, pull out his favorite book and see the excitement/joy on that little face. I hope as I continue to think and dream about the life little baby Hilburn will have, that I always remember the importance of a good book. 

 And of course the importance of being...

Positively Contagious

BUMPDATE:15 Weeks

How Far Along? 
15 weeks

 Weight Gain?
A big goose egg.

Maternity Clothes? Nada. Luckily I wear clothes that are pretty flowy so I can still hide it pretty well! 

 Sleep?
Thankfully yes, this girl needs her sleep! I get really sick at night (I thought it was called morning sickness) and I take a sleep aid with a B-Vitimin that helps with the nauseousness the next day so that has been a life saver in the sleep department.  

Best moment this week? 
Spending a week in Hawaii with family and coming home to find out the this little babe is a BOY.

Weird pregnancy moment?
I have pretty crazy dreams these days. I had a dream that Chad changed races and we had a half black baby. I was so mad because I wanted the baby to have blonde hair....

 Movement?
Not yet. He was moving like crazy on the ultrasound but I couldn't feel a thing.

Gender: BOY

Food Cravings?
Bagels and cream cheese, Alfredo, and key lime Greek yogurt. Seriously, these things usually send me to the toilet for hours. Turns out being pregnant makes you constipated, so these days I can eat things I usually can't.

Morning Sickness?
 How about Night sickness it's...manageable during the day since I can stuff my face with food but as soon as 5:00pm hits...i'm a goner.

Symptoms?
 SO tired, Diet Coke continues to be my best friend

Looking forward to?
 Getting our little family moved back into our apartment in Idaho, one more week! 

Party of three!

SURPRISE, the Hilburn family will be growing by one this September! We are so excited, nervous, anxious, and shocked all at the same time. Here's the story...I don't have a very normal body...it never has a period or if it does it's once in a blue moon. Also, it hates all types of birth control (tried and failed pills, IUD's you name it).You would think with this combination we would have been pregnant soon after we got married but, after a year with that little irregular period of mine and a couple of doctors visits we thought I would probably need to be put on Clomid (to help ovulation). With our plan of living in California for the winter, we figured April would be prime time since we'd be back with my doctors, and in our own place in Rexburg. Well...turns out our plan was not very accurate and we experienced one heck of a miracle.

 I was sitting in our room one afternoon studying for a test i'm trying to pass and I thought i'll go take a pregnancy test...go figure...anything to avoid studying I guess. Thanks to my once in a blue moon period I knew about what day I would start if my body decided to function properly that month. I honestly was just taking it to get it out of the bathroom and out of my head. With so many failed tests I didn't know why I was doing this to myself again, but i'm sure glad I did because it was POSITIVE. I was literally in shock. I had never seen a positive test before so I didn't really know what to do. I just stared at it waiting for the line to go away and have it be negative like I thought it was supposed to. I just cried and cried (happy tears of course) to get my body to stop shaking I did a couple laps around the bathroom, looked at the test again, and did a few more laps. Chad came home from work a few minutes after I stopped crying. I was still bright red and splotchy from crying haha. He asked what was wrong and I told him to go look at the new toothpaste I got him in the bathroom (toothpaste, really?) but hey, he went in, and walked out with the test. He was shocked to say the least. It took us a while to get used to the fact this was really happening and by a while, I mean it is still a shock sometimes. It truly is a miracle and we are so thankful we have been blessed with the privilege to raise a child.

(A sepcial thanks to Love too Design for the handmade sign) 

It is so crazy to think that in just six short months we are going to have a little human as the center of our world. I know we can't even begin to anticipate the changes that will happen, but we are so excited to begin this new adventure. Our lives will never be the same, but it will be so much better. Before this party of two becomes three I hope we can always find time to be...

Positively Contagious

On the Asay's Orchard

 Life can get so busy, and sometimes you just need a little sunshine, and a break from reality. So....Bakersfield it was this weekend! Chad's best friend Preston and his cute family (wife Lauren and son Louie) live on an almond orchard, so we decided to experience the beauty first hand. 

Spring is hands down my favorite season because of all of the blossoms on the trees, and Bakersfield is blossom heaven! 

We packed everything we could into our two days down there. Including another one of my personal favorites, a trip to the beach. We love California for so many reasons, but going to the beach mid February is definitely at the top of the list. Lauren and I just took pictures of this cute Louie babe all day while the boys threw a frisbee and golfed their hearts out.  It was a perfect day ending with some fresh clam chowder and fish and chips. 

We finished off the weekend with a Farmer's market, and let me tell you, I don't think you can beat this one. The fresh fruit was to die for...and they were pretty generous with the samples...which we didn't complain about. It was short, but it was the best weekend. It was filled with great food, amazing friends, fun memories, and hopefully some new traditions.

(we think he should be a baby model)

Living at home we have come to realize how important it is to have good friends, and even more importantly, how to be a good friend. Consistency is key in relationships. No matter the circumstance, be there for those you love, be supportive, lend a helping hand, and a listening ear. The relationships we create can last forever if we cherish them. 

No matter what the circumstance, I hope we can all find time to be a friend to someone who needs it 

and in doing so you'll be...

Positively Contagious

A new Beginning

Christmas and New Years have come and gone and I feel like I didn't even blink. This Holiday season was filled with family, food, friends, skiing, more food, movies, games, pictures, shopping, and a wonderful trip to the Sacramento LDS temple. It was so fun to be home and enjoy doing things we love with the people we love most. 

As I look back on this year I can't believe how much we have done and how much we have grown. I can only speak for myself when I say, I have done A LOT of growing.

 Setting goals has always been kind of daunting because I feel like I make them....and that's about as far as I get. This year as part of my goals, I plan to look at them often so I can be constantly reminded of the ways I am trying to grow and improve. 

1. Type and print out my goals and put them in a place where I can see them...so I actually accomplish them. 

2. Be more patient with the people I love: think before reacting

3. Find a hobby/further develop the things I enjoy so they become a hobby: sewing, photography, blogging 

4. Run a half marathon in under two hours. I ran one on Thanksgiving and got 2:05, I was so close but yet so far! 

5. Read my scriptures every day. I am the worst scripture reader so it's only up from where I am at. 

6. For every one negative thing I say I have to say two positive things: regarding people, situations etc. 

7. Pass the Praxis test: If I can pass it will be a whole new world for the Hilburn family! 

8. Find joy in the little things: I get so stuck in things I "have to do" instead of remembering I get to choose what I do every day and how I respond to situations

9. Be more service oriented: Look for ways every day to go outside myself and serve others. Even something little like holding the door open can change someones day 

10.  Be the best version of myself: I find that I compare myself often to people around me (especially on social media)  I want to be the best version of myself instead of the best version of "so and so" 

I am so excited for this new year. A new start brings new perspective, desires, faith, experiences, growth, love, and dreams. I can't wait to see what 2016 has in store for us. 

And as always, I hope this year we can always find ways to be...

Positively Contagious