This is about to get personal...
Preface: I am currently training for a half marathon so I have a lot of time to think on my runs. Saturday is my long day, and today was a 6 mile day. I had my route all planned out, and was actually looking forward to today's run. Half way through my run I saw this trail. I had heard about it, and knew that if I took the trail back I would probably be close to my 6 mile mark. Yet, I stuck to my planned out trail so I knew exactly how far I was going to run. As I continued to run home I almost broke into tears.Why you might be wondering... or maybe not, I was running(which could cause tears for some and myself a year ago) but it wasn't the running, it was that dang trail!
Here's the personal part: I have really been struggling lately with my roll... let me explain. I know I am a daughter of God, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, etc. but inside the only role I long to fill is the role of a Mother. I always thought after I graduated I would be a mom. I wouldn't be going to school anymore, so naturally, if I was married, we would have kids. Well, I did get married, but kids haven't exactly been next on that check list. Just like life, you have to do the hard stuff first (get a better job, chad graduating) before you get the reward (mini Hilburns)
I struggle with it a lot, I ask why, I get frustrated, I cry, feel bad for myself, and then cry some more. (Poor Chad, he didn't quite know what he was getting into in this department.) Back to my route this morning, when I saw that trail I thought about my current situation. I had a route, but there was another perfectly good route right next to me. I could have taken it, it would have led me to the exact same spot, but it was unfamiliar.
I panicked, and chose to stay on the path I knew. The path I wanted to be on. The path that I had planned.
So, yes I want to be a Mother more then words can explain, but what if that isn't the path right now? What if the path I am being led down teaches me to pray more, have more faith, and work harder which leads to a greater perspective, more compassion, and a greater understanding of sacrifice.
That is the path that will teach me to be a better wife, and ultimately a better mother. It may not be the path that I want to take, but I know that it is the path I need to be on right now. Some days I enjoy it more then others, but I know I have much more to learn. And no matter what path I take I know I don't have to do it alone.
I have a loving husband, a best friend, a constant support system, and permanent shoulder to cry on.
I hope no matter where we end up, or how many children we add a long the way we can always find a way to be...
The BEST Caramel Apples you will ever have:
3-4 large Granny Smith Apples
1 pkg of white chocolate chips
1 bag Kraft caramel bites
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup white sugar
1/2 tsp cinnamon
In separate bowls: melt chocolate, and caramel as directed on package.
Mix brown sugar, sugar, and cinnamon in a bowl.
Dip apples in caramel and place on a cookie sheet/wax paper. Let the caramel apples set until cool. Once they are set, dip the now, caramel covered apples in white chocolate. (I used a knife to smooth the chocolate out so they didn't look hideous). Immediately dip them in the sugar mixture. Rotate until completely covered.
Mine looked ugly so I only did it on one, but if you have some creative-ness left, drizzle caramel/white chocolate in pretty designs on top of the dipped apples.
Enjoy! (try not to go into a food coma)