I don't know what the deal is, but I have been having meltdowns way too often this month. Call me a toddler because that's who has meltdowns, but i'm here to tell you a twenty-four year old can have them too. Maybe breakdown is a better word, let's go with breakdown.
I don't know how to express my thoughts 99% of the time so blogging and writing tend to be my best outlet. The other night after some serious tears I decided to pull out my journal and write. I didn't even have a purpose, but after some time my thoughts came full circle and I found the root of my problem: Negativity.
I re-read what I wrote and I was shocked. Every feeling I had from inadequacy to fear, with some in between, had a negative connotation.
How in the world am I supposed to be happy when I am living in a brain of negative mush?!
Well I can't so I came up with a solution: Positivity
I live in a beautiful area, I have a loving husband (who willingly takes pictures with me), I have a family who loves me, Chad and I are both healthy, I get to run every day, we have a full fridge, a warm apartment to come home to, friends, & Maverik is down the street which means a Diet Coke pick me up is less then 2 minutes away, I have everything to be happy about.
I have realized these moments of sadness and inadequacy have brought me back to what truly matters. I have been forced to my knees to ask for help, and in doing so I have seen the comfort and love (read this talk) that comes from looking upward in hope instead of downward in defeat.
This life is a blessing and I intend to start living it that way.
And as I do I hope in someway I can be...