I really have loved being pregnant; it has been one of my favorite experiences. It is so unreal to feel this little guy go from a flutter in my stomach, to an actual person and feeling his whole body move inside of me. I have never been more thankful, or in awe of the human body and the perfect way it was created.
I also didn't realize how selfish I was before this little guy decided to grow. Time was mine, Chad was mine, and my body was mine. But those things aren't the same any more, and they will continue to change even more once he is actually here. I find myself appreciating my time more, appreciating Chad more, and appreciating the gift my body is.
However, I don't appreciate the way my body looks. I find myself spending more time being critical of my appearance and wanting to cover up all of the curves i'm not used to. Selfishly I just want my pre-pregnant body back. I want time to just fast forward and snap back to my pre-pregnant self. I know that's not realistic, but hey I can wish.
I have to learn to love myself regardless of my appearance. Numbers on a scale don't matter, and my clothes don't matter. My character matters, the words I speak matter, my marriage matters, my friends matter, my family matters, and what Chad and I teach this little guy matters!
I still have a way to go, but i'm trying. I'm trying to see what matters in myself and in other people. It doesn't come easy, it doesn't come over night, and it takes a conscious effort.
With time I know it will get easier, and it can become a part of me, and more importantly a part of our family.
And I hope as we do this we can be...