From me to we

It's kind of crazy to think i'm marrying my best friend. I know that sounds so cliché now days, but  I think 10 years of friendship can justify that statement. We can trace the "how did you meet" question all the way back to age eight. But for the sake of not writing an autobiography we can just fast forward to high school. Chad and I had a Sports Culture class together and bonded over athlete stress and coping worksheets. Over the high school years Chad and I stayed strictly in the friend zone (I can take responsibility for that one) but we sure had a great time doing it! 

 As time went on, my thoughts went from friend zone to…."O crap I think I like him, now pretend like you don't because you don't want him to know" And this continued for quite some time. All the while Chad patiently waited for my girl brain to stop over thinking things so much. 

The night Chad opened his mission call was when my brain went into hyper speed. Lyon, France was about to receive the most selfless, hard working, compassionate missionary, but I was no longer going to have my best friend physically with me. 

Let me tell you, that was a LONG two years. But it was the best thing that could have ever happened to us. Every monday I was like a kid on Christmas getting up to read his emails.I take pride in knowing that we never missed a single week.Even though we were on opposite sides of the world we still managed to grow together in ways that I don't think either of us anticipated. 

I knew I loved Chad before he left, but I really did fall in love with him through letters and I think he could say the same. 

Two years had come and gone with adventures in-between for the both of us. But on April 12, 2014 Chad was HOME, it was all such a blur. All I knew was my best friend was home and we couldn't wait to start our lives together again. It was like he never left. 

We knew we wanted to get married even before he got home from his mission. I definitely had my typical over thinking moments, where again Chad was patient with me. But I knew that ultimately it would work out. I just needed to let go of that fear and move forward trusting the man I knew Chad was and who we could become together. 

On May 23, 2014 he made it official. He took me out to our special little field and we watched the sunset. I thought nothing of it because we go on adventures to take pictures and admire the Idaho beauty all the time. He talked about how it's going to be so cool to bring our kids here and show them where we went to school and our favorite places to go. He said how this place could be even more special if he did one thing. 

At this point I caught on, and I started mentally freaking out. Next thing I knew he was on one knee and I was a crying mess and all I could say is "this isn't real" a million times. He assured me it was and put a ring on my finger! Then come to find out, the little sneak had his cousin incognito taking pictures of the whole thing. I think we were in utter shock the first hour. In one moment ten years of friendship turned into an eternity of happiness.

A long time coming would be an understatement. But we wouldn't have done it any other way. I will be forever grateful for Chad and his patience with me and for giving me the privilege of being his future wife. Let the countdown begin!

The future Hilburn Family 

August 22, 2014 

Mzungu Bye

Here's the thing about time…. when you want it to go fast, it seems never ending. When you want it to go slow it's gone in a blink. That accurately describes my last month in Mbale, Uganda.

I don't think I can really put into words how incredible this last month has been.

I attempted to climb matokee trees

I spent time in the beautiful mountains with my sweet cousin 

Bananas became my new obsession at $.8 each 

I got to look into the eyes of the siblings who care for each other more then we could ever understand 

I marveled at the ambition that filled the youth who longed for an education to create a better future for themselves

 I learned to appreciate the simple things in life from the best teachers around 

I was able to marvel at the outward strength of the children, as they hiked up mountains with loads upon their heads 

I  got to visit the slums where my heart broke knowing I had to leave these little ones

I gained an appreciation for the abundance we have in America as I saw the lives of the common people 

I gained a deeper respect for the role of a woman and the physical sacrifice they give to raise and teach children

 Simply put it was LIFE CHANGING 

We can't change culture and we can't change other people, but that's ok. That is not our responsibility.

As human beings we have so much potential to change, to discover, to learn, and to influence those around us. Africa has taught me that we need to see people as they are to become not as they are now. It may take changing our own mindset, our perspective, and having a little extra patience with ourselves and those around us. 

But, I promise it is worth it. 

I went to Africa hoping to make a difference. 

But I think I gained more then I gave, and I can now say 

Thank you Africa for being…

Positively Contagious

It's about time

There is a very different concept of time here in Mbale, Africa. Typically you can expect to add one to two hours on any given time and even then there is no set time.

 It can become rather frustrating at times when we are trying to set up meetings and are teaching at multiple locations on a daily basis. But we are the visitors here, therefore we can not change culture.

 Usually I am the one who sticks to a plan and likes to have a set schedule, but I have learned that it's much easier to go with the flow.

Sometimes that means sleeping on top of a mountain and hiking down at the wee hours in the morning. Other times it means that we don't eat until late hours at night. And most of the time it means our schedule is usually not a schedule.

But it is all part of the adventure. I have learned so much from the people here in Africa and I am so happy and thankful to be here. 

And I hope during my time I can be

Positively Contagious 

Simplicity

Here I am in Africa, and I think it's safe to say I never want to come home.

I love the food, the boda rides (rather crazy motorcycle rides), the people, the weather, the dirt, the trickle of a shower, the animals, my team, jammed packed taxi rides (minus the barfing people next to me), late night talks,and the power outages.

You name it I think it has been experienced in the few short days I have been here, but I wouldn't change a second of my experience so far.

Don't get me wrong America is great but the culture, the people, the way of life...I can't get enough! I think my favorite part has been the change in pace.

 It seems as though American culture is becoming more concerned with instant gratification. In some ways it is helpful knowing that you can see the so called "fruits of your labors" a majority of the time. But in some ways I think we may feel entitled to having more, receiving more, and expecting more.

 

It's refreshing being here in Africa and living the  life of the people here. There is no hustle and bustle, comparison, or desire for more. It may not be very clean, it may not have the conveniences that i'm used to, I may stand out quite a bit...well a lot.

 But,  It's the way life should be. Simple. 

 So for now, I think I'll just stay here and enjoy it while I can

 and try to be...

Positively Contagious

Ok, I'll go to Africa

I think we all have those moments when we wish we could just see into future and know exactly what we are supposed to do and when we are supposed to do it. Although it would be helpful at times, our lives would not be as spontaneous or exciting as they can and should be.
Like... at the age of twenty-two deciding…. surprise I'm going to Africa for a month!
 It doesn't feel real yet, but in three short weeks I will be getting on a plane and flying to Uganda. I don't know what to expect really.
All I know is that my new best friends name is going to be dirt, mosquitos are going to be in heaven when I get off the plane, I will definitely stand out in more ways then one, and I am going to be that obnoxious girl with the camera.
I don't know what it is about traveling, but it has opened my eyes to a whole new world that I did not know existed. Not only am I able to see and experiences other cultures but I am able to truly find myself. Are there other ways to do some soul searching, of course. But I have found the quickest (and most expensive) way for me personally is by traveling.
My heart breaks when I see:
The families in China who are limited on the number of children they are allowed to have.
Young families in the Philippines living in a single cement box as their home
Mothers in Mexico who plead to trade anything so they have enough money to feed their children that night
Holocaust Memorials in Germany where people were torn from their families and treated worse then animals
I can't fathom what I am about to see in Uganda, but this time I plan on making a difference. Along with service oriented projects based on the needs of the town, I will be able to teach classes. Classes on what I love most, family. I am going to teach those wonderful people about the importance of family. Their unique, and vital roles in the family and how to encompass all of them within the family unit. I will teach them ways to rely and support each other no matter what the circumstance.
The family is being attacked from every angle and if I can help others to understand its importance then I feel like I am making some sort of a difference.
It may seem kind of strange, but for me it works. I think there is an internal drive in each of us. There is a longing to help or make a difference. It may take some time to find but it's there I promise.
So try to find it, what drives you?
Where ever you have to go, even if it's Africa.

 I hope we can each find a way to be….

Positively Contagious 



Want more details on the organization I will be going with click here

The fear of perfection

I have a guilty pleasure of watching little kids movies. This plus the fact I live next to my (almost) nieces/nephews means I have seen the movie Frozen two times over the time span of one month. I have had a few thoughts on my mind lately and funny thing is the song "Let it go"from the movie helped me combine a lot of what I have been thinking.

Besides my closest friends, nobody really knew what was happening with my family behind closed doors during my high school years. I didn't want people to see how hurt I was internally. I didn't want them to see how badly I wanted to just give up. I wanted to just take my mom and brothers and run away, far away. I didn't want them to "see me cry" and did my very best to hide any emotion and "not to feel" the pain of the reality we were living. I tried to "be perfect" in any way that I could.

But eventually it was time to open up that door and not "worry about what other people would say". Everyone has their challenges, and this was mine, and I could no longer pretend.

As I went away to college I was no longer living with the fears of control, manipulation, and hatred. I now had internal fears and a rather long list of them.

But here is a shortened version:

You will never be…

pretty enough

smart enough

strong enough

successful

a good daughter

a good friend

a good sibling

able to move forward

simply enough

and ultimately worthy of being loved.

Over years I have studied, both spiritually and secularly, traveled, developed lasting relationships, and with lots of re-programing I know that I am enough. I "slammed that once opened door" and don't plan on opening it to anyone who makes me feel that way... ever again.

 I now have a deeper appreciation for things that I could have possibly taken for granted. I have a stronger desire to have a successful marriage. I want to defend and protect the sacredness of the family. I want to help other people realize their potential during their challenging times. I want to be a positive influence to those I come in contact with. I want to live a happy life. I want to be happy and find joy in the little things in life.

  I look at my life now see that as I "let go" of those things that "once controlled me" I was able to "rise above". I did not let my experiences define me. I was able to learn and grow from them and am stronger now then I ever have been.

"Here I stand, the past is in the past" and the only direction I plan on going is forward.

Who would have thought Disney movies would help me put my thoughts into words.

But regardless I hope in doing so I can be…

Positively Contagious 

Possibilities

Well it's finally here the year 2014,never thought the day would come!

To be quite honest I thought it would have ended in 2009 when someone who will not be named became president. But shockingly enough we are still alive and for that I am thankful.

Twenty-Thirteen, as it is sometimes called, was a good year to me.

I did things I had never done before... and probably wouldn't ever do again...like go on a 12 mile hike in Canada to the top of a literal mountain

But I also did things that I would do again in a heart beat…paddle boarding in wet suits, yes please 

Live with the most spontaneous people you will ever meet…take me back 

Go to Hawaii for my best friends wedding... duh 

Send this gem of a friend on a mission…maybe not my first choice but I do love pen palls 

Travel to England, Austria, Germany, France, the Chez Republic, and Italy….i'd get on a plane tomorrow 

Be in another best fiends wedding…wouldn't miss it! 

Live with my Grandparents for a few months…wouldn't trade it for the world 

Go to Disneyland with my favorite people…any day

It has been a year of joy, opportunities I never thought possible, and experiences I wouldn't ever want to forget. 

But i'm ready for the new year. I may not know what lies ahead, but i'm ready for what ever life throws at me. I know the beginning of the year will start out with a bang as I get to be in more weddings (my cousin get's married in two days) and go to Africa (28 days in counting). But aside from that all I have are goals and possibilities. Maybe i'll...

Graduate from college 

Run a marathon 

Write a book 

Get in shape 

Get a boyfriend…maybe

Try new recipes 

Go back to Hawaii 

Do the Dirty Dash again 

Get to reunite with my best friends 

What ever the new year throws at me, i'm ready. 

Hello 2014! 

And of course i'll remember to be…

Positively Contagious